Friday, February 20, 2009

what that was all about in the unpleasant cafe . . .

taking up space
tininess (cafe division)
lack of tininess (me division)

when I used to weigh 250 pounds and we would come to Germany every couple of years, I got stared at, and I didn't fit into spaces, and it was a huge pain.

now I weigh about 180 or 185 pounds right now (including the 2 kilos I gained in Lisbon) and so while I'm not so huge, I'm really not tiny. But what really doesn't fit into the little spaces here is me plus my big backpack. But if I'm out and about for a day at a time, as I was yesterday, I kind of need the whole backpack to get around and have the things with me I need (I didn't even take the laptop, which is why I had to spend a big chunk of time finding the internet cafe).

but for all the weight I've lost I guess I still take up too much space and it's just not all that much fun hanging out in a place that doesn't allow for that.

in the coffeeshop I go to with my writing group, which spouse o'mine scoffs at as "too American" because they offer bagels and brownies and things like that, I feel very at home for no reason to do with what they serve but because the place is light and airy (so many cafes here are dark, dark, dark) and because there is space, space to move around, space to sit down, space to put a person's backpack. Does this make me an ugly American? 

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