Friday, June 5, 2009

when we shall again be in Bloomington

I know I've written about this before, but I've been thinking about what it might take to recreate the parts of Berlin life I like, back in Bloomington.

Yesterday I thought: I was so happy and content in my life in Bloomington before we left, and so unhappy here at first, and now it's good here so what does that mean - I do so want to reconnect with my wonderful Bloomington friends when I get back, and at the same time I want to meet new people in Bloomington, do more new different things.

So yesterday's new thought was: I want to be in some groups in Bloomington that are open, to which I can invite new people whenever or wherever I might happen to meet new people whom I like. I think that is definitely one of the things making it all come together for me here right now. It's exciting to meet new people and fun to connect them.

And today's new thought, not an idea so much for a strategy so much as a recognition, is: I think that one reason I'm enjoying myself so freely and wildly here - which is, actually, heavily connected to why I was so lonely and unhappy here at the beginning - is that our family life is VERY different here. On the one hand we are intensely together sometimes, but on the other hand we are all and each more independent. 1. There is public transportation so children and adults alike can go off in different directions on their own and come home on their own; 2. We are in this hilarious and intense dormlike situation with families and people all around us with connections for each of us, so there too we have more options to separate out and each of us be engaged with others outside the family without involving the other family members; 3. hubby is I think way more constantly and happily and busily involved with other people (this is the part that was most about me being lonely at first and me being freer to bop around town now) - it's not like at home he was always begging me to do things together, if anything maybe even the other way around, but still somehow there was more pressure to be home; 4. the HOUSE, the house, the house is a bit of a millstone ain't it, whereas here we are in a little apt. that isn't even ours, so I think that there is just less to do, less to worry about.

Hmmm. Not sure at all how all this will translate but I'm thinking as hard as I can!

smalltown girl in bigtown place

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